Ami Ven (ami_ven) wrote,
Ami Ven

[Stargate: Drabble] "Victory Through Superior Vegetables" [John/Rodney, G]

Title: Victory Through Superior Vegetables
Author: Ami Ven
Rating: G
Word Count: 550
Prompt: mcsheplets challenge #183 ‘victory’
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Setting: sequel to Answer Man and Terrific Torren Verses the Man in Black
Summary: “We like doing evil. Right, Mad Science Girl?”

Victory Through Superior Vegetables

“Your days of thwarting my evil plans are at an end, Answer Man!” said John, grinning.

“Not a chance, Man in Black,” Rodney retorted.

Toreen tugged on his bath-towel-cape. “Uncle Rodney, what’s ‘thwarting’ mean?”

“Means you make something stop happening,” said Madison. She had a towel for a cape, too, and her mother’s old dishwashing gloves. “If you ‘n Uncle Mer ‘thwart’ me ‘n Uncle John, we can’t do evil anymore.”

“And we like doing evil,” said John. “Right, Mad Science Girl?”

“Right, Uncle John,” Madison agreed. “We’re very evil. We’re so evil that we’re… we’re gonna take hostages!”

“Hostages?” Rodney repeated, looking blankly around the Millers’ backyard.

Madison pointed at the kitchen window, where her mother was standing at the kitchen sink. She ran to the open back door, “Mom, I have to take you hostage now. For my evil plan.”

“Okay,” Jeannie agreed, easily. “But can I stay in the kitchen as a hostage? I have to make dinner.”

“All right,” said Madison. “Can it be evil dinner?”

Jeannie laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“And no laughing!” her daughter added. “You’re a hostage.”

“Right, sorry,” said Jeannie. She leaned out of the doorway and said, completely deadpan. “Oh, help, I’ve been taken hostage.”

“We’ll save you, Aunt Jeannie!” said Torren. He barreled toward the house, cape billowing behind him, and careened into Kaleb’s legs.

“Whoa, there,” said Kaleb.

“Are you a sausage, too?” Torren asked.

“He means a ‘hostage’” said Jeannie. “And yes, you are.”

“All right, then,” said Kaleb. “And which dastardly villains have done this?”

“That would be us,” said John, while Madison waved, “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, Maddie. Well, lucky for you, Torren, I know exactly how to defeat these villains.”

“Really, Uncle Kaleb?” asked Torren, eyes wide.

“Oh, yes. It’s very easy. All you need is… broccoli.”


Kaleb handed him a floret from the pile Jeannie had cut. “They hate it,” he stage-whispered.

Torren frowned, disbelieving, and held the broccoli out toward Madison.

“No!” she shrieked, playfully. “Get it away! Help, Uncle John!”

“You’re on your own, Mads,” he wheezed, collapsing onto the garden bench. “The broccoli is too strong. It’s… too… strong.”

“That’s what you get for choosing evil,” said Rodney. He had picked up a piece of broccoli, too, and took a big bite. “I think it’s delicious.”

Torren took a much smaller bite. “It is good,” he said. “Mama, want some?”

Teyla smiled at him. “Perhaps we should wait until dinner.”

“Okay,” her son agreed.

“Well, it won’t be a long wait,” said Jeannie. “It’s time for all superheroes and supervillains to come in and wash their hands.”

“Can’t,” said John. “I’m dead.”

“You can’t talk if you’re dead, Uncle John,” said Madison.

“Quiet. You’re dead, too.”

“Yes, well, some of us are hungry,” said Rodney. He leaned over to kiss John, briefly. “There you go, Kiss of True Love, now move your butt.”

Such a romantic, McKay,” John drawled, letting Rodney pull him to his feet.

Rodney rolled his eyes and kissed Madison’s forehead. “Kiss of Grudging Affection— not quite as good, you might be sluggish for a few hours.”

“True Love, huh?” said John, as Madison headed inside, dragging one foot like Igor.

“For a given definition of ‘true’,” he hedged.

John grinned. “Love you, too, Rodney.”


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Tags: drabble, john/rodney, mcsheplets, stargate atlantis
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